I heard someone say recently in an Instagram post that we would come out of quarantine sooner than expected. For some reason that did not offer the comfort as I thought it would. I began to wonder, what have I done for the month that we have been shut into our homes with limited access to others and our regular lives?
When this is all over with, what do I want to have obtained on the other side? What am I doing to achieve that now? What am I doing to cultivate my current situation? Who will I be?
These are questions I asked myself after that unexpected feeling of worry that this might be over much sooner than I thought. I do not have much time and I want to take full advantage of the time that I have been blessed with.
I was speaking to a friend of mine and I told her that I was extremely grateful for quarantine life. It feels like a blessing from God. For all those times, I said I did not have enough time, He was providing me with this gift that we often take for granted.
I agree that rest is essential and that for some, maybe God was providing this time for you to not just be “productive” in your creativity and/or skills, but maybe He is offering you the rest that you so desperately need to be all that you need to be.
While I’ve been quarantined, alone in my one bedroom apartment, I have binged watch nearly all seasons of the Blind Spot, I’ve worked out, I’ve gotten a little more creative with my meals, I even shot a one minute short film. In any case I would feel like I have gotten all the things I wanted such as creativity, rest and relaxation.
So why was I feeling overwhelmed with the thought of returning to “life as it was” before?
I had to go back to the drawing board and find out what was I missing? What was it that had me feeling unaccomplished and ill prepared for the world?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAVE WHEN ENTERING POST QUARANTINE LIFE?
If there was one thing I know that I need, it is a deeper relationship with God. I have not neglected prayer, worship or reading but things felt...the same.
One thing for sure is I CANNOT return to “life as it was”.
I began to think about all those times I woke up late and had to pray on my way to work or worship in the car. Now, there is no excuse for the lack of alone time with God. So this morning I prayed a prayer that exposed me to me and I requested that God would not only stir up a fire in me for Him but that I would have a fresh revelation of His grandeur.
You see, what I am realizing about God is that He can never be fully realized. It is impossible to fathom all that He is in one lifetime.
We see in our natural relationships that people are always evolving and discovering new parts of themselves. It is the same with God, except that He never changes, He can’t evolve because He is full but there is always more for us to discover.
When I enter post quarantine life, I want to have cultivated an ever-growing relationship with God. When I spend time with God, that is when I feel most accomplished.
There’s a scripture that captivates me every time I read it because it is the best illustration of what it means to be in relationship with God.
2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
For context, in the verse before, it says that when one turns to the Lord the veil is taken away (paraphrase 2 Corinthians 3:16). This is what it means to surrender; this is a “yes” response to a relationship with God.
Then verse 18 tells us what happens as a result of our “yes”.
You know how you see couples that have been together for a while, they start to look alike, speak alike, walk alike and think alike. I think when we offer God a “yes” He engages with us and we began building relationship. The more we spend time with Him, we will start to speak like Him, think like Him and be like Him.
That is what I want for now and post quarantine life. I don’t want the abundant life He has for me to live in my Blindspot and I forget that there is so much more to be learned about Him. See what I did there?
I want to be the woman who believes and trusts in God, who does not pretend to have it all together but be honest with herself when she hasn’t been consistent or disciplined enough to turn to Him and offer up my “yes” again.
Love,
V
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